Christie C. “I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.” — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Please excuse me if I ramble a bit, but in my recent travels back home, a lot went through my mind when it came to beauty, fashion, and self expression.
I’m far removed from many online fads, but they do creep up on some of my feeds when I search for fashion advice. Oftentimes, algorithms don’t discern the context differences when given a single term. I can ask for styling advice, but then I have to sift through piles of content that’s trying to sell me a dream or aesthetic first. I have to be reminded about the insufficiencies of my beauty routine, how outdated my attire is, and how clean my style must look to fit into the exclusive club. Lips must appear a certain way. Thighs must be a certain size. XYZ product must be owned. Minimalism must be exercised to its greatest degree.
I’m turned off from all of these reminders of my inadequacies—probably because I’ve had to fight them my whole life, not just because I’m a woman, but also because I am a woman of color with African ancestry. Collectively, we cannot win the game of being beautiful enough, so the cure is to define ourselves before everyone else does. When successful, it is the ultimate freedom.
I began to beg the question: where are all of the original and regular folks just displaying their day-to-day styles outside? I got my answer during my trip back home to New York. These folks are just living life outside, navigating a challenging world. They’re commuting to work. They’re dropping their kids off at school. They’re running errands. This need not warrant an online post showcasing a super curated outfit.
I might be overanalyzing personal style and the journey through finding it, but the trip is forcing me to do some serious soul searching about my loves, likes, and dislikes. I have to ask myself personal questions and engage with fashion beyond how it looks. Fashion is connected to personal needs, lifestyle, politics, morals, and beliefs. This is heavily expressed in others on the streets of New York where most people display their hearts on their sleeves.
One of the most remarkable aspects about traveling to a massive city is exploring the street style—not exactly the glamorized renditions featured in the fashion industry, but the everyday style choices of real people. New York City reminds me what everyday people look like—little makeup, no-nonsense yet put together attire, and a determined expression. The best part: everyone looks different, and very much human. They don’t have time to fuss over trivial routines when there’s bread to be made.
Backing Away from Cookie Cutter Looks and Fashion
I’ve stopped using Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok regularly quite a while ago—especially for fashion inspiration. In fact, I haven’t posted anything since 2024, and when I do login once in a blue moon, I get bored instantly by the endless videos of people doing the same most mundane things: usually posing, ranting, or dancing. There’s also this weirdness to some peoples’ faces; so many people have lip fillers, eyebrows thicker than fuzzy caterpillars, and pounds of makeup. Those Kardashian and Alpha Male aesthetics have a choke hold on literally everything.
To be clear, I’m not inherently against makeup and plastic surgery, nor do I let other peoples’ personal choices keep me awake at night; this is just an observation, and an occasional frustration when I’m looking for realistic beauty inspiration. People have the right to do with their body whatever they like. My issue is with whether or not our heavy use of makeup, plastic surgery, and core aesthetics are truly our decisions, or are algorithms influencing us by catering to our emotional need for perpetual “self improvement”?
In Buddhism, there is a concept called anicca, which translates into impermanence: nothing lasts forever. Despite self improvement being generally a good thing (and we should always strive to be better humans emotionally and intellectually), in the context of beauty, this is a never-ending cycle of madness that eventually leads to a lack of individuality. Self improvement in this context shouldn’t mean falling for every capitalistic answer to achieve a dictated standard of beauty. Self improvement should instead consist of basic standards for self care such as proper hygiene, health and wellness, and self actualization.
Online, it is getting exhausting looking at people fulfilling the same makeup and plastic surgery standards that look so monochromatic, homogenous, and un-human. As a result, people are starting to look the same. Hyper-homogenous beauty and fashion is now the norm, and they are getting boring. New York City, however, isn’t a reflection of homogenous beauty—and I love it for that. The more I step away from the internet, the creepier super filtered people online look to me.
It helps to back away from social media, or at least search for material in an organic way rather than by accepting the suggestions of the algorithms. My online interactions today are pretty much limited to other bloggers, Reddit, and YouTube, which has truly helped me unravel mostly algorithmic suggestions for fashion, and forced me to think for myself through personal observations and choices.
I don’t have to look like everyone else, and I don’t have to strive for the impossible standards. In fact, I never will look like everyone else, nor fit into the impossible standards by default—and that’s okay.
Inspiration from Realistic Street Style
Getting back to the street style of New York City, there’s a bit of organized chaos to it… with a hint of grunge. On one side of the spectrum, people are wearing everything they own with pride: well-worn shoes with tried and true basics. If there are statement pieces, they’re a single part of the outfit: the shoes, the bag, the shirt, the pants, the jewelry, or the sweater. Others in the swankier parts of town or the artsy types make the entire outfit the statement.
I think the mort impressive outfit I saw was the Halloween style of Jane from Cleo’s Yarn Shop. They were wearing a sleeve-less top with a batwing collar and their own jewelry. They’re the first I’ve seen who can really pull off Halloween orange hair. While riding the subway, I also saw a young woman wearing a cream dress that had a lot of woven texture. She had a buzz cut and wore bright red converse.
I pulled inspiration from not just the people, but also the graffiti art sprawled all over the city. As I play around with the colors in my closet, I’ve become more ingrained with natural and neutral color palettes, but don’t mind adding a pop of color.
Being in the city made me realize that I’m starving for more effortless casual looks. I tend to create with dressy-casual and business casual in mind due to my academic career. However, sometimes a hoodie is nice. I don’t like wearing sneakers, but I found a happy medium with Keds and Converse. I’m also not a t-shirt fan, but I can deal with them when the necklines are cut and the fit is loose. I walked away with the following ideas:
- Wear mostly colors you like
- You don’t have to follow someone else’s style formula
- Your clothes don’t have to make you suffer
- Wear what you’re drawn to
- Wear what’s practical to your lifestyle
Effortlessly Casual
I want more casual styles, but I also have this desire to not look too “young.” As I write this, I’m in my mid to late thirties, so dressing like I’m eighteen to twenty makes me incredibly uncomfortable. So while I’d like more casual options, I have a visual standard in which I want to express some degree of maturity.
My ideas for Effortlessly Casual include:
- Loose fitting trousers (tapered, flared, or wide legged)
- A comfortable t-shirt with the collar cut out to be off-the-shoulder or cut into a boat neck
- A cardigan or long dress to serve as a jacket
- Converse, boots, or oxfords for shoes
- Leather bags and edgy jewelry
Bohemian Casual
My “bohemian” style tends to show more in the spring and summer since the colors and fabrics are lighter. I’m inspired to expand on the neutral colors in my wardrobe and play up the lace and crochet for my tops. I also found out that hats are pretty cool.
My ideas for Bohemian Casual include:
- Earth toned and neutral colors
- Knit, crochet, and lace details
- Loose and light shirts
- Hats and bandanas
- Natural fibers
Studious Casual
I’m that person that likes to go to cafés, breweries, and wineries with bookish friends. I go full quirky professor there, complete with my fun knit cardigans. This time, however, I want to freshen up the style with my pants, slacks, and boots. A splash of color can brighten up all of the neutrals.
My ideas for Studious Casual include:
- Knit cardigans and hats
- Rich autumnal colors
- Tapered pants with rolled up cuffs
- A classic element such as a handbag, tote, or purse
- Subtle fabric patterns, but clear textures
Dressy Casual
I want to utilize more maxi dresses or wide legged pants with blouses and sweaters. I love the look of maxi skirts when the fit is right, but I only have one that I currently enjoy. The trick is finding a good fabric that flutters.
My ideas for Dressy Casual include:
- Flowy wide legged pants and skirts
- Oversized cardigans and sweaters
- Black and dark colors
- Romantic or Victorian florals
- Waist cinching skirts and waistbands
Loose Business Casual
Due to the nature of my work, I am most often dressed either in business casual or loose business casual. I wear slacks almost every day, paired with a knit cardigan, sweater, or blazer. What makes my particular institution reasonable, however, is the fact that I can get away with some edgy characteristics such as chunky boots, graphic t-shirts, and piercings. I usually err on the side of caution more than some of my co-workers, but I feel comfortable and my students love how I dress—which is nice to hear when you’re an old head to them!
My ideas for Loose Business Casual include:
- Dark basics with a splash of color
- Blazers and cardigans
- Clean and solid pants colors
- Jackets with classic and subtle patterns
- Edgy jewelry
Final Thoughts: Normal People are Real
This fun little dive had me realize: normal people are real. What I mean by this is that the vast majority of people are not the trending influencers, celebrities, and personalities online. Online is carefully curated to show the best angles, colors, and shapes. Wearing clothes in real life is more chaotic, organic, and imperfect. It is fun to style as a form of self expression, and the rules need not be set in stone. Also, homogenous beauty is still beautiful. It just isn’t the only type of beautiful.
